Just Be

My Mother always told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be. I appreciate her confidence in me, I hope to pass that on to my own daughter.

However.

I do wish I didn't have a great deal of interests. I definitely believe I could do whatever I wanted to do, but where do I fit in best? What is my nitch in this life? What was I born to become?

The problem is, I am a dreamer and I have these awesome dreams - awesomely BIG dreams! Then the cycle begins:

I dream a dream!
I get excited and pursue that dream.
I tell myself, "Now, you're not to change course, you will not quit this time!"
And so I continue!
    And continue....
          and continue....       y  a  w  n

And suddenly realize, "Jeez! This isn't just any dream, this is really DIFFICULT!"
I begin to doubt, "Am I really that great at this?" ....probably not.
So out goes that dream and a new one must be born!

Because, God forbid I am ever bored.

I did this with a music career, an art career, a medical career, photography, I finally went to school for wedding consulting, but now even that dream is beginning to dim; because writing has come back with a vengeance. I'm torn. I can't have it all, can I?

Possibly.

I see this weakness in myself and I can't stand it, I despise it. To give up, to not see projects through. I am so indecisive and lost in this vertigo, "What do you want from life?" I don't know!

I don't know.

I suppose if I ponder that question, the answer is: I want to be successful. I want to be creative. I want to change minds, enlighten people. I want to live life to the fullest. I want to be remembered as a good mom and wife. I want to have great faith in my walk with Jesus Christ. I want to write, create, paint, sketch, sing, and read. I want to have it all and see my dreams through.

From beginning ---
to the end.

So when I become uneasy on rocky shores and begin to doubt if I can handle the pressure, I need to stand firm in that dream and know, "You can do this."

You can be whatever you want to be - just be.

Philippians 1:6
"Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a goodwork in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."